Not my children, understand. I'm here alone this fine Arizona day. It's these children. The ones behind me. The ones who are beginning to snicker. The ones who wonder why I won't make like Nike^® and do it, already. The best waterslide in the Southwest, lady! Seven stories high, and nearly vertical in places. There's nothing else like this around, not this high or this uncrowded. So what are you waiting for?

What I'm waiting for is for my heart to stop racing, my palms to stop sweating, and my brain to stop telling me to chicken out. But this isn't going to happen, because I'm an adult, and I've lost my childlike faith that I am indestructible.

What I haven't lost, though, is my childlike fear that the cool kids will make fun of me. And so, I do it. I launch myself down the Free Fall Slide, the steepest of the three fiberglass tubes I have to choose from. The drop to the bottom is sheer and slick, and goes by in the blink of an eye. (Or would have, if my eyes had been open enough to blink.) Before I know it, I'm skidding to a halt in the run-out track filled with six inches of water, which miraculously stops even full-grown adults far more quickly than seems possible. I open my eyes, realize I've survived my adventure, and immediately make a vow to myself and whoever else may be listening:

I've got to do this again as soon as possible.

Thrills for All Ages
The beautiful thing about the Oasis water park is that you and the kids will have the chance to ride the slides as much as you'd like. The park is located on the grounds of the Pointe South Mountain Resort, in Phoenix, and is only open to overnight guests and members of the resort's athletic club. Which means that lines are always blessedly short.

The ride I started out with, the Free Fall Slide, is the park's e-ticket attraction. The 67-foot drop may not have you literally free falling, but sure seems that way. Slightly less dramatic, but still thrilling, is the Roadrunner Slide. This one starts out mildly, but has a steep, exhilarating drop of its own. While both were daunting to a grown-up with a desk job, kids from the age of about 12 and up couldn't get enough of either. For younger kids, a good option is the Sidewinder Slide. This slide drops riders only 42 feet, and does so gradually, with a lot of twists and turns along the 300-foot-long track. Unlike the other chutes, which use horizontal, water-filled run-out tracks to slow you down, the Sidewinder drops riders into a 42-inch deep splash pool.

More down-to-earth pleasures are found in the Oasis Wave Pool, a 10,000-square-foot swimming pool where the depth varies from zero to five feet. Here you'll find the best surf in Arizona (okay, the only surf in Arizona), as mechanically generated swells of up to two feet rock the pool. These gentle waves are best experienced floating on an inner tube--guests will find plenty they can borrow around the pool area.

These tubes also come in handy in the park's other signature area, the Zuni Active River. This unique (and entirely man-made) river meanders in a 950-foot loop. A current pulls you along briskly, past beautiful gardens, and under several water jets and misters. This being the Arizona desert, where temperatures soar well above 100° F all summer, you'll definitely appreciate these cooling blasts.

The park's smallest guests will love Wildcat Springs. This 800-square foot outdoor area has a giant splash deck with several waterspouts, where kids can get good and wet in complete safety. Nearby is the big-kid Caliente Springs hot tub. Big enough for 25 adults to use at once, this pool uses heated water and gentle water-jet action to soothe away the stress of watching your kids defy Free-Falling death.

Grown-up Fun, Too
The Oasis isn't the only fun to be had at the Pointe South Mountain Resort, just the newest and most conspicuous. The resort also offers golf, tennis, a 38,000-square-foot athletic club, and five themed restaurants. Indoors, the resort offers 640 spacious suites--all accommodations have a bedroom and sitting area, with two telephones and two TVs.

But don't count on the kids spending much time there--they'll be outside as much as possible, enjoying the river, splashing in the pool--and maybe even having a little fun with the grown-ups who have forgotten about the pleasures of a good water slide on a hot sunny day.•